The Silver Inside
by uhohloveydovey
Summary: In which the protagonist had enough with harems.
1. Letters

_**In which the protagonist had enough with harems**_

**::::::::::::::::::::**

**Letters**

At first, he didn't mind it.

It's already weird enough that he seldom sees Shinpachi and Kagura, much less to be with them.

He can't help but notice.

Gintoki squinted his eyes more, disbelieving what he's looking at.

Letters of various sizes and different designs were piled by the door of their _Yorozuya Gin-chan_'s office.

And they weren't just letters. No, they're not letters of debts, taxes or threats. He really wished they were, though. Because the ones in front of him were... _are_-

**Love letters**.

* * *

The limit of characters that can be added restrains me from putting the other characters that will appear within the story. _**Why**_

This story is inspired by Scandal Arc, Popularity Poll Arc and Love Potion Arc.


	2. Beginning

In GintaLand, there lies the greatest treasure one could find, where the sweetest is most abundant and money becomes natural as breathing air. Pleasure is its luxury, entertainment being the highest tower of them all. The ponds and swamps are filled with the golden hue of beer, barely reflecting the cotton candy clouds in different colors. At the side of rocky road and cookies n' cream paths are red beans ranging from the size of an ant to the height of a small bush.

Gintoki stared in wonder with mouth wide open and jaw hanging one inch over the surface. At a glance, one could tell that it was obviously one of those dreams meant to deceive you because your subconscious thinks it's fun to keep your hopes high up like that. But because this silver head doesn't care, or maybe he's stupid enough to believe it was true, he immediately climbed the parfait glass and sunk himself to the comfort of the sweet, sweet parfait with strawberries, blueberries, vanilla cream, chocolate syrup and lots of sugar.

At the back of his mind, he thinks this is the only way to balance his bitter past - by filling himself with sweetness, of course.

As he sunk deeper, the pleasant feeling became discomfort and he suddenly felt his cheek burn for a second, then again for a good minute or so.

Sadaharu growled in annoyance. It's a wonder how his permhead of a boss still won't wake up after a slap, blocking his face with his gigantic paws after. He considered using his claws to scratch his face, better yet to rip his clothing to pieces.

Oh well, he'll escape on his own then.

"GINTOKI!" The screen windows crashed as Katsura swung his body inside the room, he flipped thrice, then landed on Gintoki's abdomen causing the said sleepyhead to "GUH!".

Elizabeth's placard had the numbers written: 10/10

"To be able to sleep through this crisis... I see, so this is how you'll win the battle huh? You'll wait for others to fight until they beat each other up then you'll appear fashionably late as all the _shounen_ heroes do-"

Gintoki gripped a leg of Katsura and flung him towards the floor. It's almost a shame that it's covered in tatami mats.

"Gya gya, gya gya, you're so noisy, Zura. What's got you so energetic this early in the morning?" Gintoki stood up and walked to the bathroom to get his toothbrush. When he turned to see Katsura, he paused, blinked, then rubbed his eyes.

"I'm not Zura, I'm Katsura! You should have your clock fixed by Gengai-dono, you're so out of place Gintoki." Katsura held up the justaway clock and laughed at the 'weird but this looks like Elizabeth' thing.

Gintoki padded to the door, passing the unused closet that a certain monster has used to sleep at.

He turned to the kitchen to make himself a drink and noticed his laundry that a nagging glasses usually cleans up.

"... You want _sake_, Zura?"

Katsura looked at him, face smeared with messy make-up with violet and blue eyeshadows, thick eyeliner, and glossed red lipstick that went up to his cheeks making him look like J*ker.

The long-haired terrorist understood immediately and nodded. He lifted his cheongsam, his muscles bulging as he tried to walk in his pink, fashionable boots.

No one questioned, they just let the silence surround them, a sanctuary from the mayhem outside unbeknownst to Gintoki.

Hasegawa Taizou had enough.

Being called MADAO, being MADAO, looking like a MADAO...

Is his mailman uniform not enough to distinguish himself from this name?

Ah, he imagines death as comfort while he promised himself to bring this world down with him after he delivers these last string of envelopes. He flipped through the mails and counted seven more to go, a countdown to his end. He smiled bitterly.

His heels clicked and stomped the pavement across a familiar building he didn't have the energy to look at. He weakly pushed the envelopes under the door, not bothering to call the tenant because who knows how to shut him up about his rent and debts.

Hm? But wasn't that too many for him? After all, he's not really known for borrowing money. And he only has one scary landlady to escape from.

...Maybe he's thinking too much.

MADAO fixed his shades, the only dark color in his bright-colored clothing, and walked away with a grim smile to the world, mingling through the mess of Kabuki District.

* * *

**This chapter is far from what I expected to be o_0**

**Still I managed to update it, finally**

**Next chapter will be about the girls :3**

**Chunchun**


	3. Cursed Friendships

**2 HOURS EARLIER**

The red-light district is as busy as ever.

At night, people search for its unique charm to pleasure the tired faces and guide the lost souls in. But its reputation is not limited to being the city of pleasures. Now, when the sun glorifies the district with its ever-shining rays, people stride around, peacefully seeking calmness contrary to what the night offers to its customers. To the harmony and equality of people inside the area, this stirs the passion inside Tsukuyo more, urging her to walk a little bit farther to maintain the district's newfound reputation.

Home to all ladies with the power to please, the words which would be known to refer to Yoshiwara.

"Should the Courtesan of Death show a creepy smile this early in the morning? Just go and screw over some geezer, Tsukki."

Tsukuyo's path is blocked by a certain ninja, landing gracefully with the subtle aura of danger. Just like the smoke Tsukuyo puffed out, the lavender scarf flowed, dancing by the will of the wind.

"O-oi, Sarutobi. What's the matter? Did you finally accept you have always been rejected?" The leader of Hyakka immediately understood that she's treading on a danger zone, struggling to make something out of Sarutobi Ayame's new haircut.

The former Oniwabanshu member flexed her gloved hands, the audible cracks seemingly threatening. Tsukuyo doesn't know if seeing just Sarutobi's back is better or not.

And when there's tremble in her voice as she finally spoke, Tsukuyo knew it was far from fear nor worry.

"Oh don't worry about this. It's a simple act of my unconditional love for Gin-san." The ninja brushed her medium-length hair slowly turning around to face her. "You see, Gin-san is actually bal- has hair problems so I decided to make a wig out of my hair. Then, Gin-san and I will have the same color, the same hair with straightness he so longed before. Wouldn't it be nice?"

"Oh, t-then, why do you l-look like you want to kill someone?"

A man with a satisfied look on his face has emerged from the building beside them. While caressing his bottom, he muttered, "Aah, my ass never felt this good." A second later, he was seen on a post with clothes pinned by a kunai. Sarutobi shot another one to his butt without looking.

Tsukuyo inconspicuously signaled the few members of Hyakka present in the area to help the man.

"Tsukki." At her sudden call, the blonde shot upright. "Yes?!"

"Do you know a fellow ninja of mine who has this butt you kind of want to smash with some sharp object?"

"T-that's very vague." At the same time, not.

"He happens to like ladies he calls 'fuglies'."

At this, a bulb turned on. "Oh, the man with a light blue scarf? He helped saved the Yoshiwara from flames. Hattori Zenzou, was it?"

In a matter of milliseconds, another kunai is seen on the pole beside Tsukuyo.

"Yes, that one. He's an idiot, see. He mistook my masterpiece as some kind of tissue to wipe his dirty ass with. What a joke. His butt won't take the amazing masterpiece I created. What an idiot. His butt is done for anyway. Now, where do you keep your fuglies here?"

"Why are you searching when you have one here? Just look for a mirror and you'll immediately see one, Sa-chan."

Walking towards them were Shimura Otae and Yagyuu Kyubei, each holding a container of some sort.

"Good morning Tsukuyo-dono, Sarutobi-dono. What's that look?"

"Sarutobi is searching for a man named Hattori Zenzou. Do you know him?"

"We did not see anyone worth mentioning on our way here."

"Now, now, let's eat first. Have you eaten breakfast yet? We brought food."

"I have to go and kill someone. See y- GWAH!" Before Sarutobi could turn from them, Otae has her locked in her arms. Kyubei cheered her on while Tsukuyo's face tinged with worry.

"What are you doing, bitch?!"

"What incredible strength, Tae-chan!"

"Uh, is that black matte- cooking of yours, Otae?"

"My, can't we celebrate your haircut first, Sa-chan? And I didn't have time to cook. It's a shame, really."

Tsukuyo led them to a familiar house where she lives with Hinowa and Seita. They made themselves comfortable before opening the containers.

"Sa-chan, the bags under your eyes will not disappear if you don't eat."

"Go away, gorilla. I won't eat any of your black matter today."

"We bought it just now, fugly. Don't be choosy and eat."

"Maybe you poisoned it. Maybe your gorilla man did."

The container had an eccentric yet elaborate design covered in gold and pinkish hues. Kyuubei gave it an appreciative hum before shaking her head as it should be too... _feminine_ for her. Before she can lift up the cover, she heard a laugh.

"Kyuubei, you don't have to force yourself to like something, or to _not_ like something."

At this, Kyuubei's cheek gave a tint similar to the container's hue.

"It's just... it seemed a tiny bit... cute... and beautiful."

"True, and there's nothing wrong in appreciating that."

Both girls genuinely smiled, in contrast to the other two in front who were still bickering and insulting each other. "It's a good thing we bought these at such a small price. People in Yoshiwara are really doing their best, right, Tsukuyo-dono?"

"We should, if we want to maintain this home of ours." Although she said it with a smile, Tsukuyo cannot help but wonder over the container. There's a familiar scent she can faintly smell but she can't put a finger on it. "Kyuubei, where did you buy that?"

Kyuubei pointed straight from where they had come from. "There, near the entrance of the district. There was a boy selling so many of these." As the guardian of Yoshiwara, one should know what is happening in every part and know who resides within. As Tsukuyo's brows furrowed, Kyuubei became more alert. "Were you not informed, Tsukuyo-dono?"

That was the last place she's supposed to check. The place she was headed to go.

Before either of them continue, two screeching voices got louder and cut them off.

"Why are you bringing Gin-san into this? No one said a word about that lazy ass!"

"Fugly or not, Gin-san will enjoy being an S with me!"

"Why don't you bring that Zenzou with you instead?! If you accept being fugly, accept being rejected!"

"What are you saying?! You don't make any sense, you butt hair woman!"

"I don't have butt hair! Kondou-san has that!"

"Then your glasses brother! He already has chest hair, go check his butt hair!"

"You two that's enough. Sarutobi, put that whip away, you're attracting some M."

"Tae-chan, please lower your fist and sit down. You may attract the other gorilla."

As the two were calmed down, the people started to go away from the scene and dispersed. The girls took note of Otae's sudden silence. Her fists were lowered, but they were shaking just as her lips quivered. It was certainly not from the cold and most certainly not from any electric-related thing as Kyuubei checked.

"Shin-chan..."

Sarutobi Ayame is not a woman of virtue, that she admits. But even she knows where to stand when she makes a genuine mistake. She gently puts Tsukuyo's hands down from her arms and walked towards Kyuubei and Otae. With courage she musters and any dignity left inside her twisted fantasies and darkened heart, she says, "I'm sorry."

Tsukuyo looked at the cabinet where a purple umbrella is hidden and sighed.

Kyuubei looked at the other container that's supposed to be at a certain younger brother's hands.

_Kagura and Shinpachi..._

Inside the container were cookies in different shapes with their half covered in chocolate drizzle while the other half in pink syrup. Kyuubei got an eyepatch-shaped cookie, Ayame picked the cuffs, Tsukuyo randomly selected a pipe and Otae blindly pulled a banana. These specific shapes to their cookies do not concern them, however insulting or interesting they may be, because when they looked at each other, they only thought of one thing.

They lightly bumped their cookies before eating them.

_To the Odd Jobs_.

All hoped for their return.

* * *

**Well, that was long**

**far too long?**

**please forgive me**

**Chunchun**


	4. Dive Down

It was a rather pleasant day, so for the first time in weeks he refused to go out, he got up, donning his kimono as he ponders if a scarf is needed.

While he was putting his boots on, Katsura threw him his wooden sword, which he swiftly catches. "There's a situation outside. People seem not to mind it, but there is already an effect that happened. We have yet to find the source."

Elizabeth handed over his red scarf, which was lying on the dusted kotatsu. It raised its placard with the words: You might want some protection.

"Before that, you should mind what did happen to you two." He waved a hand as he went out. "I'll probably visit you if ever you perform at the Kamakko club again."

"What are you planning to do with those letters?"

"I'm going to find the owners. They sent it to the wrong address."

Katsura waited for Elizabeth to jump out the window when he remembered something. "Oh, Gintoki, you ought to know this: Anyone clothed as a male appears to be a target-" The door shut.

Outside, a heavy mist fell on Kabuki District. It made Gintoki hardly see anything, and even when he squinted his bloodshot eyes, all he could make out were several figures moving around. Strange, he swore he saw a clear blue sky a second ago.

"What are you doing?" Armed with a gas mask and what looked like an improvised spear consisting of a knife and a broom, Otose stood next to Gintoki. The latter screamed in surprise and horror.

"You! What are _you _doing with those things? Are you going to war? Is this the year 2020, you old hag?!"

"I'll keep my mouth shut if I were you." Otose inclined her head to the shadows leaning towards their direction. "Look, they're coming, and it's all your fault."

Catherine appeared beside Otose with bottles of liquor in her hands. "Idiot Sakata, just when you decide to stop being a useless piece of garbage, you cause more trouble. Truly an idiot."

Idiot Sakata did not know what to do. He got behind the two ladies as he screamed when random women and men with their lipsticks on their puckered lips reached out for him. They cut through the mist, displaying their smiling faces and eyes shaped like hearts. The three could hear them grumbling about love.

"Oi, Gintoki! Be a man and explain your affairs to them!"

"Distract them while I get the cash register, Idiot Sakata!"

"I don't have any affairs! And why the hell would you get the cash register? Get your priorities right!"

Otose swung her improvised spear, creating a distance between the townspeople and them. Those who evaded the attack got a taste of alcohol as Catherine kept on pushing the bottles to their grumbling mouths. Meanwhile, Gintoki crawled back to the bar, determined to escape from this mayhem. He is not that far off them when a mob character managed to catch his scarf. But before he can scream like a madman, a leg harshly stomped over the other end.

"Stop this right now." As Gintoki looked up to another smiling face with closed eyes of a female gorilla, he thinks it's better if that mob character has pulled him faster. "This man does not belong to any of you. Go find another banana."

"Love, I need love!" The woman did not sway even under Shimura Otae's sadistic gaze. Gintoki struggled to get the wretched scarf from strangling him.

"O-oi! If you keep on doing that, this story won't have a protagonist anymore!"

"It's alright, Gin-san. I am enough to make this an action-filled drama about a female samurai wandering the country to help those in need as atonement for my sins."

"What are you talking about? Not even H*mura Kensh*n could take a thousand lives by Dark Matter alone!"

"More love!"

Ignoring Gintoki's protests and insult, Tae turned to the woman. "You dare defy the Queen of the Kabuki District?" In a flash, Gintoki was thrown out of the way as Tae pointed her naginata to her enemy. "Get on your knees and bow. The Queen orders your obedience. We can't let Kabuki district rampant forever, right, Otose-san?"

Otose breathes out a sigh as the citizens bowed down before Tae. "I could not agree more. But the epitome of no-good and useless people is running away from you, Otae."

If Gintoki thinks wrapping the scarf around his head will protect him from that monster, he's got a long way to go before becoming a ninja. He already felt her menacing presence before he's wrestled with her on his back, legs encircled around his waist and arms tilting his head. "It's dangerous to loiter around, Gin-san. Can't you read the situation?"

Gintoki stood still. If he's not careful, he will disappear, and this story won't have a conclusion. So, he has to escape from this disaster that's called Shimura Otae in the best possible way. "I'm going to buy some Baagen-Dazs."

"I don't think that's the right way."

"I heard there's a new store there."

"You will cause us a new problem there."

"My only problem is the monster on my back." When she made a move, he quickly thinks of a counter. "A beautiful monster! A charming bouncer- I mean, cabaret girl! A responsible, brutal sister! A-"

From her yukata's sleeves, she grasped a small peach pouch. Untying the violet ribbon revealed dark, gloomy pieces of garbage. "These are not garbage. These are chocolates."

Gintoki never felt so much sweat in weeks. "Um, _sweet_. Are you, perhaps, going to give them to _somebody_? I sure hope they last long enough to relive all their happy memories."

_It's Dark Matter! It's the one and only!_

Tae took one and put it before his lips. "What nonsense are you pulling? Now, eat this so that you won't be infected. Those who ate these were behaving quite fine."

Just as Tae pried his mouth open, a deranged voice echoed throughout the streets. "OTAE-SAN!"

_Now's my chance!_

Gintoki waited for her to punch Kondou before setting himself free of her clutches. He stretched his arms out and ran for his life.

"Ah, Gin-san! Wait-"

"Otae-san, please give yourself- I mean, your remaining chocolates to me! I will more than gladly eat them for you!" Similar to the citizens, still bowed down but drooling, the Chief of the Shinsengumi sported an unnatural smile and seemingly obsessed eyes.

In response to his attempt to hug her, Tae stuck her naginata on Kondou's butt. They fought some more while both Catherine and Otose watched them.

"Idiot Sakata is truly an idiot."

"It's fine, isn't it?" Otose smiled. "It does not matter if he resembles Tatsugorou or not. This town already has a great guardians beside them and that's enough for me."

Catherine clicked her tongue, her eyes following Tae as she left the battered Kondou in search of a silver perm. "I can't take this lovey-dovey stunts. They should go down with me if they won't be honest to themselves, nyu."

Kondou stood and removed the dirt on his _hakama_. "You can say that again." He went to them and gave a large box of chocolates enough to feed the people a piece.

"You, your eyes-"

He straightened up and made a pose. "Well then, as Gorilla 13, I'm off to protect my love. Pray for me!" As soon as he said that, he went off to where Tae has gone to, screaming her name like S*nji to N*mi.

"Well then, shall we pray for everyone's happiness?"

"Rather, you need to pray for their safety. I'll pray more money to come."

* * *

**fun fact 1: I do not ship Gin with anyone**

**fun fact 2: fun fact 1 is making it hard to finish the other chapters**

**fun fact 3: Sorachi sensei said to, like, temporarily put down KnY and support the incoming Gintama movie in 2021 but even he admits that KnY is great so yeah**

**fun fact 4: Otae's all-time fav H*agen-Dazs sells more than 30 different flavors annually (inspired by the seasons) only in Japan**

**fun fact 5: this is about Gin and what defines his love, or something like that**

**just a fact: I wanna know more analyses about Gin's ships with Otae, Sachan, Tsukuyo, Tama, and even Kyuubei, it's fun**

**I'll probably delete this note once I recover**

**As always, be extra careful outside and take good care of yourselves inside your houses**

**Chunchun**


End file.
